…mozemoua…

To my Grandpa, Kuv Yawm Txiv

Posted on 11 January 2010

I woke up this morning, just like any ordinary morning, my alarm turns on and I hit snooze endlessly before I finally force myself up at 4:30 AM. Get myself washed up and dressed then head to work like any Monday morning. But this morning at about 7AM I received a call from my mom, I didn’t pick up the phone call since I was already working. As always she left me a voicemail and how I hate listening to voicemails, but I made myself listen to her voicemail. Normally her voicemail would be something like “why don’t you ever call me, I miss you, call me, don’t you miss me too?” then she goes off on whatever she might want to say or just tell me to call her back when I have the chance, but today had been very different. Her voicemail went along the line of “Why must I be the one who always call you, why don’t you ever call me, do you not miss me?” then there was a pause as I thought to myself “hum, but I’ve just visited mom yesterday”. Then her voicemail continued with “you no longer have a grandpa, I had asked you to call him, give him strength and tell him to get well, but it’s too late to do so now, he had already passed away last night, he is no longer with us, I no longer have a father” and in her tone of voice was sadness and as I listen to her voicemail my heart sank listening to my mother’s sadden voice as I can hear her cries in her voice.

I just want to dedicate this post for my Grandfather:::
Rest in Peace Grandpa!!! Although I’ve only met you twice, I still had a grandpa, but now, I no longer have any grandparents! WE ALL LOVE YOU WITH ALL OUR HEARTS!!!! I was hoping to visit you in Laos SOON so you can pat my head and tell me that I am a wonderful granddaughter, but I guess that dream will never come true.

I’ve met my grandfather twice. He was the father of my mother whom my mother loved very much. I met my grandfather for the first time about 4 years ago, when he came visit us from Laos, honestly, he came to the United States to see his younger brother on his death bed. When My great uncle passed away, which my grandpa was the main reason my grandpa came. My parents and I flew to St. Paul Minnesota that night for the funeral, my uncle took us home to drop off our belongings then he took my parents to the funeral home as I followed two hours later since I had to put away and settle us in at my uncle’s house. When I arrived to the funeral home my uncle came up to me and asked me if I knew which one was my grandfather, but all I saw as his back so my uncle pointed to me which one he was, when I figured out which one was my grandfather, I went up to him and hold him from behind, then I slowly said “Grandpa, do you know who I am? Do you know that I am your eldest daughter’s eldest daughter, do you know how happy I am that I am finally holding you” as I slowly cried to him. I know I was the watch of town; everyone had their eyes on me as my grandpa was one of the main people sitting at the main table. But I didn’t care, I was too happy; I was finally in the arms of my grandfather. He then pats my head a few times and told me how happy he was to see me. I couldn’t stop crying, I was too happy. It was the best feeling I had ever had, it was like a piece of puzzle was finally put into place.

A month after the funeral I bought my grandpa an airline ticket to come to Georgia to see us. My mom and I went to pick my grandpa at the airport, because my grandpa as old and does not speak English I was allowed to go to his gate and pick him up. When I saw grandpa came out from his gate, I rushed to him and grabbed holds of his arm and gently help him. I hold his bags around one shoulder and both my hands were linked between one of his arms. We walked from his gates to the underground train; I set with him in the train to the baggage claims where my mom was waiting for him. It was the most joyest moment of my life. I had never seen my mom so happy in her life when she saw grandpa and she hugged him with so much love and joy.

My grandpa only stayed with us for a week. My parents spend most of the week with grandpa as I took over my parent’s farm for the week, although I was able to spend only a few days with grandpa. My mom, my younger sister Hlee, my aunt and I took grandpa to the airport. We took him there about 3 hours before his flight and the lady who checked grandpa in was very sweet, she allowed all of us to walk grandpa to his gate (normally they only allow one person to walk the person to his/her gate) but this lady was very kind, we didn’t even ask her, I was supposed to walk grandpa to his gate alone, but this lady granted us all access without any of us asking. I was very thankful. We all walked grandpa to his gate and sat with him for 3 hours, once time was inching closer and closer to his departure time, we all were very sad that this may be the last time we’ll ever see grandpa. My mom was in so much tears, as I had never seen her this sad before. The week grandpa was in town my mom was the happiest mother alive, but when grandpa was departing she was the saddest mother I had ever seen. We all cried as we said our good byes to grandpa. I cried and cried, but my sister Hlee beat me to it. She cried more than I, although my mom out did us.

Although they were very little memories, they were better than nothing! With those memories I had had of my grandpa I will cherish it forever! I am very thankful that I had at least met grandpa and finally was able to feel how wonderful it is to have a grandpa close by and to be able to have my grandpa pat my head. My very first time I met grandpa was one of the best time of my life, and that moment will never change! I had cried tears of happiness; I was the happiest girl alive. I know that no matter what, grandpa will always be in my heart, in all our hearts.

I know my aunt and uncle are taking it the hardest. They visit grandpa in Laos every year, sometimes twice a year. My aunt and uncle are without kids and they had always loved us very much, they treat us as their own kids. I called my uncle today and told him although he no longer have a father, he still have us as his children. He is a wonderful uncle!

I know it’s very sad for my uncle because he had missed my grandpa by 3 days. My grandpa passed away last night and my uncle and aunt were scheduled to fly to Laos to see grandpa tomorrow on Tuesday Morning.

This song is called “Grandmother and Grandfather” (on the father’s side of the family)… But it does not matter, this grandpa is my yawm txiv (grandfather on my mom’s side).. Either way, he is still my grandfather…

This song is for him and all my grandparents! He was the only grandparent I had ever seen and met. I had never seen any pictures of my grandparents on my dad’s side nor had I seen any picture of my grandmother on my mom’s side. But I had at least met kuv yawm txiv and most of all, he was able to pat me on the head and tell me to be a good daughter, to listen to my parents and be a good person.

PogThiabYawg.mp3

Ciaj Sia – Pog Thiab Yawg

kuv yawg txawm hais tias wb tsis tau sib ntsib
Grandfather, although we’ve never met
wb tsis tau tuav tes koj lub npe nyob nrog nraim kuv
We haven’t hold hands, your name is always with me
kuv pog txawm tias wb tsis tau sib pom
Grandmother, although we never seen each other
koj tsis tau nyw mov kuv noj lub suab no yog neb tub loj
You haven’t fed me, this voice is from your big son

[chorus]
pom luag tej muaj pog muaj yawg
I’ve seen other people have grandparent
kheev lam ntuj ho nyob ze
If only heaven is close by
tau kev cuav zos tau kev tuaj thov khawv
Then I have a place to visit, a place to come *beg

kuv yawg yog hais tias wb tau nyob ua ke
Grandfather, if we were able to stay together
tej dab neeg yuav muaj tsis tag tej khawv koob kuv tau xyaum
Then the folk stories will not be enough, the **magic I can learn
kuv pog yog hais tias peb nyob ib tse
Grandmother, if only we live in one household
tub txom nyem koj ho pab hlub pog thiab yawg nov yog nej tub
Your son is ***poor then you can love, Grandparent this is your grandson

[chorus]
pom luag tej muaj pog muaj yawg
I’ve seen other people have grandparent
kheev lam ntuj ho nyob ze
If only heaven is close by
tau kev cuav zos tau kev tuaj thov khawv
Then I have a place to visit, a place to come *beg

kuv yawg kheev lam ntuj ho nyob ze
Grandfather, if only heaven was close by
koj ho pom thaum txiv me ua luag qhev neb tub ntsuag
So you can see when father was younger, as their ****slave, your orphan
kuv pog kheev lam ntuj tsis nyob siab
Grandmother, if only heaven was not high
koj ho pom thaum txiv yog tub ntsuag tau nkauj zuag paj
Then you’ll see when father was an orphan married *****nkauj zuag paj

[chorus]
pom luag tej muaj pog muaj yawg
I’ve seen other people have grandparent
kheev lam ntuj ho nyob ze
If only heaven is close by
tau kev cuav zos tau kev tuaj thov khawv
Then I have a place to visit, a place to come *beg

[instrumental]

[chorus]
pom luag tej muaj pog muaj yawg
I’ve seen other people have grandparent
kheev lam ntuj ho nyob ze
If only heaven is close by
tau kev cuav zos tau kev tuaj thov khawv
Then I have a place to visit, a place to come *beg

TERMS THAT MAY NOT MAKE SENSE
*beg—he meant when he needs or want something he can go ask for it
**magic—there are different type of “good” black magic such as learning how to heal a wound
***poor— more of an emotional stress or when he is down and needs a helping hand, but it also can mean when he needs money or financial help
****slave—some people mistreat orphans and makes the orphan work extra hard for little food
*****nkauj zuag paj—a famous folktale character who is very kind and gentle to her husband